|Linux Men Women: 171 of 582|
God created woman. And boredom did indeed cease from that moment --
but many other things ceased as well. Woman was God's second mistake.
|Linux Men Women: 172 of 582|
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
|Linux Men Women: 173 of 582|
Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her. The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program. He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet. Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman's heart, and she agreed to marry him.
On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning. Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through?"
"To be honest, Harold," Saint Peter sheepishly replied, "I didn't
|Linux Men Women: 174 of 582|
Hat check girl:
"Goodness! What lovely diamonds!"
"Goodness had nothin' to do with it, dearie."
-- "Night After Night", 1932
|Linux Men Women: 175 of 582|
Having a baby isn't so bad. If you're a female Emperor penguin in the
Antarctic. She lays the egg, rolls it over to the father, then takes off
for warmer weather where she eats and eats and eats. For two months, the
father stands stiff, without food, blind in the 24-hour dark, balancing
the egg on his feet. After the little penguin is hatched, the mother
sees fit to come home.
-- L.M. Boyd, "Austin American-Statesman"
|Linux Men Women: 176 of 582|
He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
|Linux Men Women: 177 of 582|
He who enters his wife's dressing room is a philosopher or a fool.
|Linux Men Women: 178 of 582|
He who is intoxicated with wine will be sober again in the course of the
night, but he who is intoxicated by the cupbearer will not recover his
senses until the day of judgement.
|Linux Men Women: 179 of 582|
Hey, Jim, it's me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat. You said you were
gonna call and it's been two weeks. What's wrong, you lose my number?
|Linux Men Women: 180 of 582|
High heels are a device invented by a woman who was tired of being kissed
on the forehead.