Linux Men Women

A man arrived home early to find his wife in the arms of his best friend,
who swore how much they were in love.  To quiet the enraged husband, the
lover suggested, "Friends shouldn't fight, let's play gin rummy.  If I win,
you get a divorce so I can marry her.  If you win, I promise never to see
her again.  Okay?"

"Alright," agreed the husband.  "But how about a quarter a point
on the side to make it interesting?"

A man can have two, maybe three love affairs while he's married.  After
that it's cheating.
                -- Yves Montand

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.
                -- Du Bois

A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
                -- Zsa Zsa Gabor, "Newsweek"

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
                -- Brendan Francis

A man is like a rusty wheel on a rusty cart,
He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart.
                -- Richard Thompson

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
                -- Samuel Johnson

A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled,
but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.

A man sank into the psychiatrist's couch and said, "I have a
terrible problem, Doctor.  I have a son at Harvard and another son at
Princeton; I've just gifted each of them with a new Ferrari; I've got
homes in Beverly Hills, Palm Beach, and a co-op in New York; and I've
got a thriving ranch in Venezuela.  My wife is a gorgeous young actress
who considers my two mistresses to be her best friends."
        The psychiatrist looked at the patient, confused.  "Did I miss
something?  It sounds to me like you have no problems at all."
        "But, Doctor, I only make $175 a week."

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.  After he'd given her
some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
her aid.
        Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
        "He claims this is his," she said, obviously very upset.
        "She can keep it, she can keep it!" the wide-eyed man replied.  "I
just want to get my saddle back!"