Linux Men Women

Moe:    Wanna play poker tonight?
Joe:    I can't. It's the kids' night out.
Moe:    So?
Joe:    I gotta stay home with the nurse.

Moe:    What did you give your wife for Valentine's Day?
Joe:    The usual gift -- she ate my heart out.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two
things we have.
                -- The Best of Will Rogers

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac.  But flowers work almost as well.
                -- Lazarus Long

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.
                -- H.H. Munro

... most of us learned about love the hard way.  Even warnings are probably
useless, for somehow, despite the severest warnings of parents and friends,
hundreds, thousands of women have forgotten themselves at the last minute
and succumbed to the lies, promises, flatteries, or mere attentions of
lusting, lovely men, landing themselves in complicated predicaments from
which some of them never recovered during their entire lives.  And I am not
speaking only of your teenaged Midwesterners in 1958; I'm speaking of women
of every age in every city in every year.  The notorious sexual revolution
has saved no one from the pain and confusion of love.
                -- Alix Kates Shulman

My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him,
like a bank note, for two twenties.

Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he gives you candy.
                -- Linda Festa

Never argue with a woman when she's tired -- or rested.

Never eat at a place called Mom's.  Never play cards with a man named Doc.
And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
                -- Nelson Algren, "What Every Young Man Should Know"