Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday February 22, 2020

A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived...
A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah; Wrapped in tissue and crepe, It was peeled, like a grape, And emitted a pale, greenish aura. -- Edward Gorey

A young lass got married at Chester; Her mother she kissed...
A young lass got married at Chester; Her mother she kissed and she blessed her. Said she, "You're in luck -- 'E's a stunning good fuck, For I've 'ad 'im meself down in Leicester."

There was a young lady named Nance Who learned about fucking...
There was a young lady named Nance Who learned about fucking in France, And when you'd insert it She'd squeeze till she hurt it, And shoved it right back in your pants.

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." -- W.S. Gilbert