Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday May 30, 2020

There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke...
There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke to a puma. Now his dry bleached bones lie, Under hot Asian skies, 'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.

A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple...
A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple pagoda. She festooned the walls Of her halls with the balls And the tools of the fools who be-stroda'.

A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780...
A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780. The thing's learned to swear With a nautical air, And refers to its users as "matey".

An ambitious lady named Harriet Once dreamed she was raped in...
An ambitious lady named Harriet Once dreamed she was raped in a chariot By seventeen sailors A monk and three tailors, Mohammed and Judas Iscariot.

There once was a young man from Yuma Who attempted sex with...
There once was a young man from Yuma Who attempted sex with a puma He gave up real quick Minus nose, toes, and prick In obvious pain and ill huma.

There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved...
There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved up the mutton, "My father preferred The last sheep in the herd -- This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."

There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to...
There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to a beadle. Said she, "Does it itch?" "It does, you damned bitch, And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."