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Daily fortunes for your site

Dec 3, 2024

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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only

amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...

the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.

Today's Fortunes

Dec 3, 2024

A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through...
A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods. After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears, one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed. They killed the female, autopsied her, and sure enough, found...

Aberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went...
Aberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went on vacation, the gas station and drive-in theatre had to close.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best...
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime...

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please...
"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands." -- Saint Patrick

Also, the Scots are said to have invented golf. Then they...
Also, the Scots are said to have invented golf. Then they had to invent Scotch whiskey to take away the pain and frustration.

Daily Fortunes for Dec 3, 2024 (today)

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