Freebsd Fortunes 5

Real computer scientists only write specs for languages that might run on
future hardware.  Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens
will ever be able to fit on a single planet.

Real programmers admire ADA for its overwhelming aesthetic value but they
find it difficult to actually program in it, as it is much too large to
implement.  Most computer scientists don't notice this because they are
still arguing over what else to add to ADA.

Real programmers don't document; if it was
hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Real programmers don't draw flowcharts.  Flowcharts are, after all, the
illiterate's form of documentation.  Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much
good it did them.

Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.
FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for
programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.

Real programs don't eat cache.