Freebsd Fortunes

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
        (1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong
            direction.
        (2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
        (3) The energy required to change either one of these states
            will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so
            much as to make the task totally impossible.

Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.

Get Revenge!  Live long enough to be a problem for your children!

Ginsberg's Theorem:
        (1) You can't win.
        (2) You can't break even.
        (3) You can't even quit the game.

Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:
        Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
        meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's
        Theorem.  To wit:

        (1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
        (2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break
            even.
        (3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the
            game.

Give me a Plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh dome, and a place
to stand, and I will drain the world.

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."
                -- Napolean

Give me the Luxuries, and the Hell with the Necessities!

Give thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to
a new town.

Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying
around, I'd rather lie around.  No contest."
                -- Eric Clapton