Freebsd Fortunes 4

I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him
Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat
one of us.  Later, we found out he was a bear.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought.
                -- D. Cavett

I GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way.  We shot him, we skinned him, and
we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I had a dream last night...
I dreamt about 1976.
I dreamt about a country with incurable brain damage...
I even dreamt they gave it a heart transplant.
Then I woke up and I knew it was only a nightmare...
so I went back to sleep again.
                -- Ralph Steadman, "Fear and Loathing '72"

I had a feeling once about mathematics -- that I saw it all.  Depth beyond
depth was revealed to me -- the Byss and the Abyss. I saw -- as one might
see the transit of Venus or even the Lord Mayor's Show -- a quantity passing
through infinity and changing its sign from plus to minus.  I saw exactly
why it happened and why tergiversation was inevitable -- but it was after
dinner and I let it go.
                -- Winston Churchill

I had a virgin once.  I had to go to Guatemala for her.  She was blind
in one eye, and she had a stuffed alligator that said, "Welcome to Miami
Beach."
                -- The Stunt Man

I had another dream the other day about government financial management
people.  They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they
had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

I had another dream the other day about music critics.  They were small
and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a
painting by Goya.
                -- Stravinsky

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black
people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people
put a black person through in this country.  To realize you don't have any
power to make things different is a bitch.
                -- Miles Davis

I had no shoes and I pitied myself.  Then I met a man who had no feet,
so I took his shoes.
                -- Dave Barry