Freebsd Fortunes 7

WHEN YOU'RE RIDING IN A TIME MACHINE way far into the future, don't stick
your elbow out the window or it'll turn into a fossil.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.

Whenever a system becomes completely defined,
some damn fool discovers something which either
abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to
laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.  Struggle
to become a parrot or something.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean "not really".
                -- Dave Parnas

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?
                -- Rita Rudner

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel
a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
                -- A. Lincoln

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct
is to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
                -- Jack Handey

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
                -- Oscar Wilde