Freebsd Fortunes 5

Of what you see in books, believe 75%.  Of newspapers, believe 50%.  And of
TV news, believe 25% -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.

Office Automation:
        The use of computers to improve efficiency in the office
        by removing anyone you would want to talk with over coffee.

Official Project Stages:
        1. Uncritical Acceptance
        2. Wild Enthusiasm
        3. Dejected Disillusionment
        4. Total Confusion
        5. Search for the Guilty
        6. Punishment of the Innocent
        7. Promotion of the Non-participants

Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses
lampposts -- for support rather than illumination.

Often things ARE as bad as they seem!

Ogden's Law:
        The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!

Oh, by the way, which one's Pink?
                -- Pink Floyd

Oh don't the days seem lank and long
When all goes right and none goes wrong,
And isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Oh Father, my Father, Oh what must I do?
They're burning our streets and beating me blue.
"Listen my son, I'll tell you the truth:
Get a close haircut and spit-shine your shoes."

Oh Mother, my Mother, my confusions remove,
I long to embrace her whose hair is so smooth.
"Now listen my son, although you're confused,
Cut your hair close and shine all your shoes."

Oh Teacher, my Teacher, your life with me share.
What books ought I read?  What thoughts do I dare?
"Oh Student, my Student, of dissent you beware.
Shine those dull shoes and cut short your hair."

Oh Preacher, my Preacher, does God really care?
Are all races equal?  Are laws just and fair?
"Boy -- here's the answer, no need to despair:
Shine those new shoes and cut short that hair."