Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday December 12, 2013

GURU: A person in T-shirt and sandals who took...
GURU: A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the phone call you are about to receive from your boss.

There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were...
There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were cosy--but cannie: A buck for a fuck, Fifty cents for a suck, And a dime for a feel of her fanny.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

You'll never be the man your mother was!
You'll never be the man your mother was!