Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday May 2, 2016

"Microwave oven? Whaddya mean, it's a microwave oven? ...
"Microwave oven? Whaddya mean, it's a microwave oven? I've been watching Channel 4 on the thing for two weeks."

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts...
The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape...

There was a young lady from Maine Who claimed she had men...
There was a young lady from Maine Who claimed she had men on her brain. But you knew from the view, As her abdomen grew, It was not on her brain that he'd lain.