Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday May 5, 2016

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

MATH AND ALCOHOL DON'T MIX! Please, don't drink...
MATH AND ALCOHOL DON'T MIX! Please, don't drink and derive. Mathematicians Against Drunk Deriving

An amazon giantess named Dunne Let a midget screw her for fun...
An amazon giantess named Dunne Let a midget screw her for fun. But the poor little runt Was engulfed in her cunt And re-born as the twin of his son.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there...
A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself. -- Du Bois

Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't...
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!