Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 27, 2016

"I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket...
"I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket of tapioca, but don't let appearances fool you. I'm approaching old age ... at the speed of light." -- Prof. Cosmo Fishhawk

There was a young fellow named Gene Who first picked...
There was a young fellow named Gene Who first picked his asshole quite clean. He next picked his toes, And lastly his nose, And he never did wash in between.

If the automobile had followed the same development as...
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside. -- Robert Cringely, InfoWorld

Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in...
Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.

No matter what other nations may say about the United...
No matter what other nations may say about the United States, immigration is still the sincerest form of flattery.

This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see...
This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see You cannot tell the he from the she But she can tell, and so can he The little bee is never still She has no time to take the pill And that is why, in times like these There are so many sons...