Linux Definitions

Westheimer's Discovery:
        A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a
        couple of hours in the library.

When asked the definition of "pi":
The Mathematician:
        Pi is the number expressing the relationship between the
        circumference of a circle and its diameter.
The Physicist:
        Pi is 3.1415927, plus or minus 0.000000005.
The Engineer:
        Pi is about 3.

Whistler's Law:
        You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.

White's Statement:
        Don't lose heart!

Owen's Commentary on White's Statement:
        ...they might want to cut it out...

Byrd's Addition to Owen's Commentary:
        ...and they want to avoid a lengthy search.

Whitehead's Law:
        The obvious answer is always overlooked.

Wiker's Law:
        Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Wilcox's Law:
        A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

                William Safire's Rules for Writers:

Remember to never split an infinitive.  The passive voice should never be
used.  Do not put statements in the negative form.  Verbs have to agree with
their subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words out.  If you reread
your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be
avoided by rereading and editing.  A writer must not shift your point of
view.  And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.  (Remember, too, a
preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Don't overuse
exclamation marks!!  Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long
sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.  Writing carefully,
dangling participles must be avoided.  If any word is improper at the end of
a sentence, a linking verb is.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors.  Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.  Everyone should be
careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.  The adverb always follows the verb.  Last
but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

Williams and Holland's Law:
        If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical
        methods.

Wilner's Observation:
        All conversations with a potato should be conducted in private.