Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday March 2, 2024

A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle ...
A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle The system, you see, Ran as slow as did he, And that's not saying much for the turtle.

A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt...
A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt. But the unlucky wench Got it caught in her trench --- It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench, To get the thing out of her cunt.

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There was a young fellow from Parma Who was solemnly screwing...
There was a young fellow from Parma Who was solemnly screwing his charmer. Said the damsel demure, "You'll excuse me, I'm sure, But I must say you fuck like a farmer."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world...
The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the world...