Freebsd Fortunes 2

America is the country where you buy a lifetime
supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt
from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.
                -- John O'Hara

America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until
people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and changed its
name to "America".
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

America works less, when you say "Union Yes!"

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees
be honest and hardworking.  It has even stopped hoping for employees who
are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room
and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors.
                -- Dave Barry

American by birth; Texan by the grace of God.

American cars are made shoddily...
Cars made overseas are far superior.
                -- Sen. Barry Goldwater

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything
we allow them short of hanging.
                -- Samuel Johnson

America is a large friendly dog in a small room.  Every time it wags its
tail it knocks over a chair.
                -- Arnold Toynbee

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
                -- Jim Samuels

Americans are people who insist on living in the present, tense.

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out
to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.
                -- Shirley Hazzard, "Transit of Venus"