Freebsd Fortunes 2

An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize
the president but is always polite to traffic cops.

An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New
Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not
new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
                -- David Letterman

An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to
New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but
not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
                -- David Letterman

An aphorism is never exactly true;
it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.
                -- Karl Kraus

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile -- hoping that it will eat
him last.
                -- Sir Winston Churchill, 1954

An apple a day makes 365 apples a year.

An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.
                -- Isaac Asimov

An attachment a la Plato
for a bashful young potato
or a, not too French, french bean
must excite your languid spleen.
For, if you walk down Picadilly
with a poppy or lily
in your medieval hand,
every one will say,
as you walk your flowery way;
"If this young man is content,
with a vegetable love
which would certainly not content me.
Why, what a very pure young man
this pure young man must be!"
                -- W.S. Gilbert, "Patience"
                [The subject of the humour is, of course, Oscar Wilde]

An attorney was defending his client against a charge of first-degree
murder.  "Your Honor, my client is accused of stuff his lover's
mutilated body into a suitcase and heading for the Mexican border.
Just north of Tijuana a cop spotted her hand sticking out of the
suitcase.  Now, I would like to stress that my client is *not* a
murderer.  A sloppy packer, maybe..."