Freebsd Fortunes 2

1 Billion dollars of budget deficit             = 1 Gramm-Rudman
6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears    = Avocado's number
2 pints                                         = 1 Cavort
Basic unit of Laryngitis                        = The Hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes             = A straight line
6 Curses                                        = 1 Hexahex
3500 Calories                                   = 1 Food Pound
1 Mole                                          = 007 Secret Agents
1 Mole                                          = 25 Cagey Bees
1 Dog Pound                                     = 16 oz. of Alpo
1000 beers served at a Twins game               = 1 Killibrew
2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League
2000 pounds of chinese soup                     = 1 Won Ton
10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes           = 1 Microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier  = 1 Machturtle
8 Catfish                                       = 1 Octo-puss
365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer.               = 1 Lite-year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone                  = 1 Rod Serling
Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies    = 1 Fig-newton
        to 1 meter per second
One half large intestine                        = 1 Semicolon
10 to the minus 6th power Movie                 = 1 Microfilm
1000 pains                                      = 1 Megahertz
1 Word                                          = 1 Millipicture
1 Sagan                                         = Billions & Billions
1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety         = 1000 nail-bytes
10 to the 12th power microphones                = 1 Megaphone
10 to the 6th power Bicycles                    = 2 megacycles
The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship     = 1 Millihelen

1 bulls, 3 cows.

1) Everything depends.
2) Nothing is always.
3) Everything is sometimes.

1) Never draw what you can copy.
2) Never copy what you can trace.
3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.

1. Never give anything away for nothing.  2. Never give more than
you have to (always catch the buyer hungry and always make him wait).
3. Always take back everything if you possibly can.
                -- William S. Burroughs, on drug pushing

1: No code table for op: ++post

1) X=Y                          ; Given
2) X^2=XY                       ; Multiply both sides by X
3) X^2-Y^2=XY-Y^2               ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides
4) (X+Y)(X-Y)=Y(X-Y)            ; Factor
5) X+Y=Y                        ; Cancel out (X-Y) term
6) 2Y=Y                         ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1
7) 2=1                          ; Divide both sides by Y
                -- "Omni", proof that 2 equals 1

10. Not everybody looks good naked.
 9. Joe Garagiola was a hell of an emcee.
 8. Joe Cocker really should stick with decaffeinated coffee.
 7. Fringe!  Fringe!  Fringe!
 6. If you've got 72 hours to kill, you can probably find room for Sha Na Na.
 5. Never attend an event with a 50,000 to 1 person to Port-A-San ratio.
 4. Bellbottoms will never go out of style.
 3. A drum solo cannot be too long.
 2. I, David Letterman, will never rent out my farm again.
 1. We are stardust.  We are golden.  We are going to look really stupid to
        future generations.
                -- David Letterman, Top Ten Lessons of Woodstock

10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman:

 1. A beer won't make you go to church.
 2. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
 3. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
 4. A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of
        other beers on the side.
 5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of
        "doberperson".
 6. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian
        folk music on yer fave radio station.
 7. A beer understands why The Three Stooges are funny.
 8. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the
        toilet seat up.
 9. A beer doesn't think that a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" is an
        enormous can of vegetable juice.
10. A beer won't smoke in your car.

100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FF buckets of bits on the bus

FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FE buckets of bits on the bus...

ad infinitum...