Freebsd Fortunes 2

A budget is just a method of worrying
before you spend money, as well as afterward.

A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.

A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.

A bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive government by
hijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them to the West.  They
drove to the airport, forced their way on board a large passenger jet, and
found there was no pilot on board.  Terrified, they listened as the sirens
got louder.  Finally, one of the scientists suggested that since he was an
experimentalist, he would try to fly the aircraft.
        He sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out.  The sirens
got louder and louder.  Armed men surrounded the jet.  The would be pilot's
friends cried out, "Please, please take off now!!!  Hurry!!!"
        The experimentalist calmly replied, "Have patience.  I'm just a simple
pole in a complex plane."

A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute saloon;
The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known as Lou.
                -- Robert W. Service

A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files
is to make a copy of everything before he destroys it.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.
                -- Paul Valery

"A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAIQURI!!"
                -- Zippy the Pinhead

A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich
and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes
to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.  The VWD examines him
and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross
examine him about his recent diet.
        "Well, I ate a missionary yesterday.  Do you think that could be
the problem?"
        The VWD says "Hmmmm."  (All doctors say "Hmmmm.")  "That could be.
Tell me a bit about this missionary."
        "Well, he was tall for a white man, wearing a brown robe.  He was
walking down the trail, not watching for danger, so I speared him, dragged
him home, cleaned him, boiled him and ate him."
        "Ah-hah!" (All doctors say "Ah-hah!")  There's your problem," smiles
the VWD.  You boiled him, but he was a friar!"