| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 529 of 1371 |
A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files
is to make a copy of everything before he destroys it.
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 530 of 1371 |
A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.
-- Paul Valery
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 531 of 1371 |
"A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAIQURI!!"
-- Zippy the Pinhead
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 532 of 1371 |
A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich
and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 533 of 1371 |
A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes
to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint. The VWD examines him
and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross
examine him about his recent diet.
"Well, I ate a missionary yesterday. Do you think that could be
the problem?"
The VWD says "Hmmmm." (All doctors say "Hmmmm.") "That could be.
Tell me a bit about this missionary."
"Well, he was tall for a white man, wearing a brown robe. He was
walking down the trail, not watching for danger, so I speared him, dragged
him home, cleaned him, boiled him and ate him."
"Ah-hah!" (All doctors say "Ah-hah!") There's your problem," smiles
the VWD. You boiled him, but he was a friar!"
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 534 of 1371 |
A career is great, but you can't run your fingers through its hair.
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 535 of 1371 |
A castaway was washed ashore after many days on the open sea. The island
on which he landed was populated by savage cannibals who tied him, dazed
and exhausted, to a thick stake. They then proceeded to cut his arms
with their spears and drink his blood. This continued for several days
until the castaway could stand no more. He yelled for the cannibal chief
and declared, "You can kill me if you want to, but this torture with the
spears has got to stop. Dammit, I'm tired of getting stuck for the drinks."
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 536 of 1371 |
A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith
does not prove anything.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 537 of 1371 |
A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
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| Freebsd Fortunes 2: 538 of 1371 |
A certain amount of opposition is a help, not a hindrance.
Kites rise against the wind, not with it.
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