Freebsd Fortunes 2

A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with his purchase.
He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought
to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
should be masculine or feminine.
        After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either
Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandry about the final choice.
        "Is a Nissan male or female?" he began asking his friends.  Most of
them looked at him peculiarly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
went on their way rather quickly.
        He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered "Feminine."
        The swiftness of her response puzzled him. "You're sure of that?" he
asked.
        "Certainly," she replied. "They wouldn't sell very well if they were
masculine."
        "Unhhh...  Well, why not?"
        "Because people want a car with a reputation for going when you want
it to.  And, if Nissan's are female, it's like they say...  `Each Nissan, she
go!'"

        [No, we WON'T explain it; go ask someone who practices an oriental
        martial art.  (Tai Chi Chuan probably doesn't count.)  Ed.]

A few hours grace before the madness begins again.

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

A fisherman from Maine went to Alabama on his vacation.  He rented a boat,
rowed out to the middle of the lake, and cast his line, but when he looked
down into the water he was horrified to see a man wrapped in chains lying
on the bottom of the lake.  He quickly rowed to shore and ran to the police
station.  "Sheriff, sheriff," he gasped, there's a guy wrapped in chains,
drowned in the lake!"
        "Now ain't that jest like a Yankee," drawled the sheriff, "to steal
more chain than he can swim with?"

A fitter fits;                          Though sinners sin
A cutter cuts;                          And thinners thin
And an aircraft spotter spots;          And paper-blotters blot
A baby-sitter                           I've never yet
Baby-sits --                            Had letters let
But an otter never ots.                 Or seen an otter ot.

A batter bats
(Or scatters scats);
A potting shed's for potting;
But no one's found
A bounder bound
Or caught an otter otting.
                -- Ralph Lewin

A flashy Mercedes-Benz roared up to the curb where a cute young miss stood
waiting for a taxi.
        "Hi," said the gentleman at the wheel.  "I'm going west."
        "How wonderful," came the cool reply.  "Bring me back an orange."

A fool and his honey are soon parted.

A fool and his money are soon popular.

A fool and your money are soon partners.

A fool is a man who worries about whether or not his lover has integrity.
A wise man, on the other hand, busies himself with deeper attributes.