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A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
|Freebsd Fortunes 2: 642 of 1371|
A gambler's biggest thrill is winning a bet.
His next biggest thrill is losing a bet.
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A gangster assembled an engineer, a chemist, and a physicist. He explained
that he was entering a horse in a race the following week and the three
assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster's horse would win.
They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
each propose to ensure a win. When they reconvened the gangster started with
Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
electrical shock to the horse.
G: That's very good! But let's hear from the chemist.
Chemist: I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves
into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
cannot be detected in post-race tests.
G: Excellent, excellent! But I want to hear from the physicist before
I decide what to do. Physicist?
Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
|Freebsd Fortunes 2: 644 of 1371|
A gentleman is a man who wouldn't hit a lady with his hat on.
-- Evan Esar
[ And why not? For why does she have his hat on? Ed.]
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A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
-- Fred Allen
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A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
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A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely a coincidence. A girl and
a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another coincidence. But
when a girl gives a boy a dead squid, *that had to mean SOMETHING!*
|Freebsd Fortunes 2: 648 of 1371|
A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *that had to mean something*.
-- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
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A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
-- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"
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A girl's best friend is her mutter.
-- Dorothy Parker