Freebsd Fortunes 2

A gentleman is a man who wouldn't hit a lady with his hat on.
                -- Evan Esar
                [ And why not?  For why does she have his hat on?  Ed.]

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
                -- Fred Allen

A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.

A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely a coincidence.  A girl and
a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another coincidence.  But
when a girl gives a boy a dead squid, *that had to mean SOMETHING!*

A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *that had to mean something*.
                -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"

A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
                -- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"

A girl's best friend is her mutter.
                -- Dorothy Parker

A girl's conscience doesn't really keep her from doing anything wrong--
it merely keeps her from enjoying it.

A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like
a quop without a fertsneet (sort of).

A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game.
The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it
had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably atop a nice
firm tuft of grass.
                -- Donald A. Metz