Freebsd Fortunes 2

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
                -- Fred Allen

A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.

A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely a coincidence.  A girl and
a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another coincidence.  But
when a girl gives a boy a dead squid, *that had to mean SOMETHING!*

A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *that had to mean something*.
                -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"

A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
                -- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"

A girl's best friend is her mutter.
                -- Dorothy Parker

A girl's conscience doesn't really keep her from doing anything wrong--
it merely keeps her from enjoying it.

A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like
a quop without a fertsneet (sort of).

A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game.
The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it
had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably atop a nice
firm tuft of grass.
                -- Donald A. Metz

A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in
the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the
rough.  Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between
the face of the club and the cover of the ball and the player should not be
penalized for the erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such
uncontrollable physical phenomena.
                -- Donald A. Metz