Freebsd Fortunes 2

A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head.  The
green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that
grew in the ears themselvse, stuck out on either side like turn signals
indicating two directions at once.  Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the
bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled
with disapproval and potato chip crumbs.  In the shadow under the green visor
of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down
upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department
store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress.  Several
of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be
properly considered offenses against taste and decency.  Possession of
anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and
geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul.
                -- John Kennedy Toole, "Confederacy of Dunces"

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals
are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for
not going to church on Sunday.
                -- Russell Baker

A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.
                -- Carolyn Wells

A guy has to get fresh once in a while
so a girl doesn't lose her confidence.

A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.

A halted retreat
Is nerve-wracking and dangerous.
To retain people as men -- and maidservants
Brings good fortune.

A hammer sometimes misses its mark - a bouquet never.

A handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own
weight in other people's patience.
                -- John Updike