Freebsd Fortunes 2

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
                -- Samuel Johnson

A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled,
but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.

A man may well bring a horse to the water,
but he cannot make him drink with he will.
                -- John Heywood

A man of genius makes no mistakes.
His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.
                -- James Joyce, "Ulysses"

A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.

A man said to the Universe:
        "Sir, I exist!"
        "However," replied the Universe,
        "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
                -- Stephen Crane

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.  After he'd given her
some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
her aid.
        Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
        "He claims this is his," she said, obviously very upset.
        "She can keep it, she can keep it!" the wide-eyed man replied.  "I
just want to get my saddle back!"

A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions
he is able to answer.
                -- Ronald Colman

A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a
late card games.
        "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,"
he said.  "First, I kill the engine a block away from the house and coast
into the garage.  Then I open the door slowly, take off my shoes, and
tiptoe to our room.  But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always
wakes up and gives me hell."
        "I make a big racket when I go home," his friend replied.
        "You do?"
        "Sure.  I honk the horn, slam the door, turn on all the lights,
stomp up to the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss.  `Hi, Alice,' I say.
`How about a little smooch for your old man?'"
        "And what does she say?" his friend asked in disbelief.
        "She doesn't say anything," his buddy replied.  "She always pretends
she's asleep."

A man was kneeling by a grave in a cemetery, crying and praying very loudly,
        "Oh why..eeeee did you die...eeeeee, Oh Why..eeeeee,
why did you Di......eeee"
The caretaker walks up, pardons himself and asks politely,
        "Excuse me, sir, but I've been seeing you for hours now,
carrying on at this grave.  You must have been very close to the deceased."
        "No, I never met him.  Oh why....eeeee did you dieeeeee,
why....eeeee did you.."
        "Sir, you say you never met this person, yet you carry on so?
Tell, me who is buried here?"
        "My wife's first husband."