Freebsd Fortunes 2

A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.  One of the men
gets out and goes into the office.
        "I need some four-by-two's," he says.
        "You must mean two-by-four's" replies the clerk.
        The man scratches his head.  "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go
check."
        Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
acceptable.
        "OK," says the clerk, writing it down, "how long you want 'em?"
        The guy gets the blank look again.  "Uh... I guess I better go
check," he says.
        He goes back out to the truck, and there's another animated
conversation.  The guy comes back into the office.  "A long time," he says,
"we're building a house".

A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover,
You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
You'll never go wrong with a pig!
                -- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"

A pipe gives a wise man time to think
and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

A place for everything and everything in its place.
                -- Isabella Mary Beeton, "The Book of Household Management"

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to memory management system services.]

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.
                -- Stanley Baldwin

A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques
contaminate the potable concoction produced by steeping certain
edible nutriments.

A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.

A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.

A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck.  He has heard
about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his
money if the bank collapsed.  "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the
finance ministry, sir," the teller replies.
        "But what if the finance ministry goes broke?" the worker asks.
        "Then the government will intercede to protect the working class,"
the teller says.
        "But what if the government goes broke?" the worker asks.
        "Our socialist comrades in the Soviet Union naturally will come
to our assistance," the teller responds with growing irritation.
        "And if the Soviet Union goes broke?" the worker asks.
        "Idiot!" the teller snorts. "Isn't that worth losing one lousy
paycheck?"
                -- Making the rounds in Warsaw, 1984

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom,
but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.
                -- Jean Paul Sartre