Freebsd Fortunes 2

A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.
Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?

        And the Master answered:
        It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.

        It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City
to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns
have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.

        And that is Fate?  said the priest.

        Fate... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.

        That's all right, said the priest.  I wanted to know
what Freight was too.
                -- Kehlog Albran

A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.
                -- George Eliot

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then
asks you not to kill him.
                -- Sir Winston Churchill, 1952

A private sin is not so prejudicial in the world as a public indecency.
                -- Miguel de Cervantes

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of
being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of
incomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague
assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents
and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of
dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of
annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was
unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.
                -- IEEE Grid newsmagazine

A programming language is low level
when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to
drink with -- even if he drank.
                -- Mencken

A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a
watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed. As he
looked down from his tree platform and described the scene into his
tape recorder, he saw two gnus grazing peacefully. So preoccupied were
they that they failed to observe the approach of a pride of lions led
by two magnificent specimens, obviously the leaders. The lions charged,
killed the gnus, and dragged them into the bushes where their feasting
could not be seen.  A little while later the two kings of the jungle
emerged and the radioman recorded on his tape: "Well, that's the end of
the gnus and here, once again, are the head lions."