Linux Cookie

"Poor man... he was like an employee to me."
-- The police commisioner on "Sledge Hammer" laments the death of his bodyguard

"Trust me.  I know what I'm doing."
-- Sledge Hammer

"Hi.  This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine.  Please leave your name and
number... and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you
 in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the F.B.I... BEEEP"
 -- Blue Devil comics

"All God's children are not beautiful.  Most of God's children are, in fact,
barely presentable."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
-- Lily Tomlin

Whom the gods would destroy, they first teach BASIC.

"Look! There! Evil!.. pure and simple, total evil from the Eighth Dimension!"
-- Buckaroo Banzai

"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid"
-- the artificial person, from _Aliens_

"The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead
girl or a live boy."
-- Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards

David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans":
        * Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
        * Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE"
        * Hourly motel rates
        * Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
        * Didn't just give up right away during World War II like some
            countries we could mention
        * Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
        * Our well-behaved golf professionals
        * Fabulous babes coast to coast