Linux Kids

When I was 16, I thought there was no hope for my father.  By the time I was
20, he had made great improvement.

When you were born, a big chance was taken for you.

Why do they call it baby-SITTING when all you do is run after them?

Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year? Just
picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your children
open their old-fashioned presents.

Your 11-year-old son: "What the heck is this?"

You:    "A spinning top!  You spin it around, and then eventually it falls
down.  What fun!  Ha, ha!"

Son:    "Is this a joke?  Jason Thompson's parents got him a computer with
two disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory, and I get this
cretin TOP?"

Your 8-year-old daughter: "You think that's bad?  Look at this."

You:    "It's figgy pudding!  What a treat!"

Daughter: "It looks like goat barf."
                -- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have,
for instance.
                -- Franklin P. Jones

"You can't expect a mother to be with a small child all the time," Margaret
Mead once remarked, with her usual good sense, but in 1978 she shocked
feminists by snapping that women don't really have children to put them in
day care twelve hours a day, either.
                -- Caroline Bird, "The Two Paycheck Marriage"

You can't hug a child with nuclear arms.

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine.  You
need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion
picture star.  If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use
the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified
success.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"

Youth is such a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.
                -- George Bernard Shaw

Youth is the trustee of posterity.