Linux Kids

Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests,
since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

        Catching his children with their hands in the new, still wet, patio,
the father spanked them.  His wife asked, "Don't you love your children?"
"In the abstract, yes, but not in the concrete."

Catproof is an oxymoron, childproof nearly so.

Children are like cats, they can tell when you don't like them.  That's
when they come over and violate your body space.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every
effort to teach them good manners.

Children are unpredictable.  You never know what inconsistency they're
going to catch you in next.
                -- Franklin P. Jones

Children begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.
Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
                -- Oscar Wilde

Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
                -- Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
                -- Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
the dirt doesn't get any worse.
                -- Quentin Crisp