Freebsd Fortunes 2

        Your home electrical system is basically a bunch of wires that bring
electricity into your home and take if back out before it has a chance to
kill you.  This is called a "circuit".  The most common home electrical
problem is when the circuit is broken by a "circuit breaker"; this causes
the electricity to back up in one of the wires until it bursts out of an
outlet in the form of sparks, which can damage your carpet.  The best way
to avoid broken circuits is to change your fuses regularly.
        Another common problem is that the lights flicker.  This sometimes
means that your electrical system is inadequate, but more often it means
that your home is possessed by demons, in which case you'll need to get a
caulking gun and some caulking.  If you're not sure whether your house is
possessed, see "The Amityville Horror", a fine documentary film based on an
actual book.  Or call in a licensed electrician, who is trained to spot the
signs of demonic possession, such as blood coming down the stairs, enormous
cats on the dinette table, etc.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

        "Your son still sliding down the banisters?"
        "We wound barbed wire around them."
        "That stop him?"
        "No, but it sure slowed him up."

        Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind; it is a temper of
the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance
of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over love of ease.
        Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow
old only by deserting their ideals.  Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up
enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.  Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear, and despair
-- these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit
back to dust.
        Whether seventy or sixteen, there is in every being's heart the love
of wonder, the sweet amazement at the stars and the starlike things and
thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing childlike appetite
for what next, and the joy and the game of life.
        You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your
self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your
despair.
        So long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer, courage,
grandeur and power from the earth, from man, and from the Infinite, so long
you are young.
                -- Samuel Ullman

" "
                -- Charlie Chaplin

" "
                -- Harpo Marx

" "
                -- Marcel Marceau

      /
     \ 
  /  \ /
 / / / / //   SUN of them wants to use you,
 //   // /   SUN of them wants to be used by you,
  / /  /  /    SUN of them wants to abuse you,
   /  \       SUN of them wants to be abused ...
      \
      /
                -- Eurythmics

                 ___          ______
                /__/     ___/_____/          FrobTech, Inc.
                      /         /\
                    _/__       /           "If you've got the job,
                 _     /_____/___          we've got the frob."
                // __/ /         / 
        _______//_______/         / _/______
       /      /            /    / /        /
    __/      /            /    / /        / ___
   / /      /     _______/    / /        / /   /
  /_/______/___________________/ /________/ /___/  
             ___________                   /
   _        /          /              ___/
            /          /                 /
       _____/          /         ________/
            /__________/            /
               _____        /_____/
              /    /      /    
              /____/      /      
                    /___/        
               ____/            __/

    ***
  *******
 *********
 ****** Confucious say: "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
  *******
    ***

* * * * * THIS TERMINAL IS IN USE * * * * *

   It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all
primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach
of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings
arise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself
completely. ... Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged
once again by the magic of the Dionysian rite, but alienated, hostile, or
subjugated nature again celebrates her reconciliation with her prodigal son,
man.
                -- Fred Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy

===  ALL CSH USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================

Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER
updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a
machine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently
populated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a
cold boot process.