Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday August 31, 2014

There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious...
There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious diameter But it wasn't the size That brought forth the cries 'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace. To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace Thought it very, very...
A fair-haired young damsel named Grace Thought it very, very foolish to place Her hand on your cock When it turned hard as rock, For fear it would explode in your face.

There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs...
There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs of sex. Arraigned for exposure, He maintained with composure, "De minimis non curat lex." [Trans: the law does not concern itself with small things. Ed.]

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed...
Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed the Romans, And now it's killing me.