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Daily Fortunes

Nov 20, 2007

While riding in a train between London and Birmingham,...
While riding in a train between London and Birmingham, a woman inquired of Oscar Wilde, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" Wilde gave her a sidelong glance and replied, "I don't mind if you burn, madam."

Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room...
Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?

Why on earth do people buy old bottles of wine when they...
Why on earth do people buy old bottles of wine when they can get a fresh one for a quarter of the price?

Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very...
Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very drunk. Winston Churchill: Madame, you are ugly; very, very ugly. I shall be sober in the morning.

Wonderful day. Your hangover just makes it seem terrible.
Wonderful day. Your hangover just makes it seem terrible.

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