Freebsd Fortunes 6

Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew
but weren't sure.  But if you're searching for something you don't
already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
                -- Erma Bombeck

telephone, n.:
        An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of
making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

TELEPRESSION:
        The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try
        hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
        burden on the directory assistant.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

Television -- a medium.  So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
                -- Ernie Kovacs

Television -- the longest amateur night in history.
                -- Robert Carson

Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs.
                -- Alfred Hitchcock

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than
each other.
                -- Ann Landers

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
                -- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs

Television is now so desperately hungry for material
that it is scraping the top of the barrel.
                -- Gore Vidal

Television only proves that people will look at anything --
rather than each other.