Freebsd Fortunes

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
dropped.  The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to
maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it
must drop.  The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.
                -- Donald A. Metz

"If a team is in a positive frame of mind, it will have a good
attitude.  If it has a good attitude, it will make a commitment to
playing the game right.  If it plays the game right, it will win --
unless, of course, it doesn't have enough talent to win, and no manager
can make goose-liver pate out of goose feathers, so why worry?"
                -- Sparky Anderson

If all be true that I do think,
There be Five Reasons why one should Drink;
Good friends, good wine, or being dry,
Or lest we should be by-and-by,
Or any other reason why.

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular
error.
                -- John Kenneth Galbraith

If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot
platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave
that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
                -- Paul Beatty

If all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a
conclusion.
                -- William Baumol

If an S and an I and an O and a U
With an X at the end spell Su;
And an E and a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do?
Then, if also an S and an I and a G
And an HED spell side,
There's nothing much left for a speller to do
But to go commit siouxeyesighed.
                -- Charles Follen Adams, "An Orthographic Lament"

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.