Freebsd Fortunes 6

Wanna tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed,
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
But then one day he was shootin' at some food,
When up through the ground come a bubblin' crude -- oil, that is;
        black gold; 'Texas tea' ...

Well the next thing ya know, old Jed's a millionaire.
The kinfolk said, 'Jed, move away from there!'
They said, 'Californy is the place ya oughta be',
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is;
        swimmin' pools; movie stars.

War doesn't prove who's right, just who's left.

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
                -- Charles Edward Montague

War is an equal opportunity destroyer.

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
                -- Desiderius Erasmus

War is like love, it always finds a way.
                -- Bertolt Brecht, "Mother Courage"

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
                -- Clemenceau

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.
                -- Anacreon

WARNING:
        Reading this fortune can affect the dimensionality of your
        mind, change the curvature of your spine, cause the growth
        of hair on your palms, and make a difference in the outcome
        of your favorite war.

WARNING!
        This system is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need!
A special circuit in the computer called a "critical detector" senses the
user's emotional state in terms of how desperate they are to get their program
to run.  The "critical detector" then creates a bug in the program proportional
to the desperation of the user.  Threatening the terminal with violence only
aggravates the situation, causing the program to immediately crash or the
entire system to go down.  Likewise, attempts to use another terminal may cause
it to core dump.  (They all belong to the same LAN.)  Keep cool and say nice
things to the terminal.