Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday August 30, 2014

All the female apes ran from King Kong For his dong...
All the female apes ran from King Kong For his dong was unspeakably long. But a friendly giraffe Quaffed his yard and a half, And ecstatically burst into song.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable. Their fertility...
To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable. Their fertility was somewhat unstable. He constructed a bed Out of tree trunks and said, "Even adders can multiply on a log table."