Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday April 30, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

Q: Why don't Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like...
Q: Why don't Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like it? A: Well, they like it with two lumps of sugar. If they drink it at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while visiting, they always take three.

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what...
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.