Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of September, 2015

Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual...
Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ... -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There's a rather odd couple in Herts Who are cousins (or...
There's a rather odd couple in Herts Who are cousins (or so each asserts); Their sex is in doubt For they're never without Their moustaches and long, trailing skirts. -- Edward Gorey




"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."
"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon...
Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon is more useful than the sun." "Why?", he was asked. "Because at night we need the light more."

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D...
To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D. -- B. Duggan