Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday May 9, 2015

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There was a young sportsman named Peel Who went for a trip...
There was a young sportsman named Peel Who went for a trip on his wheel; He pedalled for days Through crepuscular haze, And returned feeling somewhat unreal. -- Edward Gorey

You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded some great honor.

Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives...
I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one. -- Strange de Jim