Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday August 23, 2015

There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly...
There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, The Fitzgerald contraction, Foreshortended his foil to a disk.

There once was a girl from Decatur, Who got laid by a...
There once was a girl from Decatur, Who got laid by a big alligator. Now nobody knew The result of that screw, 'Cause after he laid her, he ate her.