Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday August 30, 2015

Disease can be cured; fate is incurable. --...
Disease can be cured; fate is incurable. -- Chinese proverb

Distance doesn't make you any smaller, but it does make...
Distance doesn't make you any smaller, but it does make you part of a larger picture.

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There was a young monk from Siberia Whose life got drearia'...
There was a young monk from Siberia Whose life got drearia' and drearia' Till he did to a nun What shouldn't be done And made her a mother superia'.

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...