Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday April 28, 2017

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young girl of Cape Town Who usually fucked with...
There was a young girl of Cape Town Who usually fucked with a clown. He taught her the trick Of sucking his prick, And when it went up -- she went down.

"My name is Sue! How do you do?! Now you gonna...
"My name is Sue! How do you do?! Now you gonna die!" Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes, And he went down, but to my surprise, Come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear. So I busted a chair right across his teeth, And...

As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,...
As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day, I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay, The words were torn and tattered, From the storm the night before, The wind and rain had done its work and this is how it goes, Smoke Coca-Cola...

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, It is slick...
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. Or some joker who is slicker, Will trick you of your liquor, If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

My Bonnie looked into a gas tank, The height of its contents...
My Bonnie looked into a gas tank, The height of its contents to see! She lit a small match to assist her, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask...
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay In better spirits night and day.

There is in certain living souls A quality of loneliness...
There is in certain living souls A quality of loneliness unspeakable, So great it must be shared As company is shared by lesser beings. Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this That in immensity There is one lonelier than you.