Humor: September 2017 - Best of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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Sep 20, 2017
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Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of September, 2017


An impotent Scot named MacDougall Had to husband his sperm...
An impotent Scot named MacDougall Had to husband his sperm and be frugal. He was gathering semen To gender a he-man, By screwing his wife through a bugle.

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young woman of Croft Who played with herself in...
There was a young woman of Croft Who played with herself in a loft, Having reasoned that candles Could never cause scandals, Besides which they did not go soft. Said another young woman of Croft, Amusing herself in the loft, ...

"What I've done, of course, is total garbage." ...
"What I've done, of course, is total garbage." -- R. Willard, Pure Math 430a

"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING...
"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?" -- Bertold Brecht

"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will...
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." -- Bertrand Russell, "Skeptical_Essays", 1928

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American...
All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second. -- Jim Fiebig

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
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