Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday June 10, 2017

There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could...
There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could be heard for a block away. Perceiving his error, The Rabbi in terror Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!"

Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.

Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts...
Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. -- George Carlin

The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like...
The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.

The test of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts...
The test of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. -- Aldo Leopold

If I could read your mind, love, What a tale your thoughts...
If I could read your mind, love, What a tale your thoughts could tell, Just like a paperback novel, The kind the drugstore sells, When you reach the part where the heartaches come, The hero would be me, Heroes often fail, You won't read that book again,...