Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday February 25, 2019

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

The latest reports from Good Hope State that apes there have...
The latest reports from Good Hope State that apes there have pricks thick as rope, And fuck high, wide, and free, From the top of one tree To the top of the next -- what a scope!

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

A novice asked the master: "I have a program that...
A novice asked the master: "I have a program that sometimes runs and sometimes aborts. I have followed the rules of programming, yet I am totally baffled. What is the reason for this?" The master replied: "You are confused because...

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each...
The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash

The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where...
The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way Where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say...

The rain it raineth on the just And also on the unjust...
The rain it raineth on the just And also on the unjust fella, But chiefly on the just, because The unjust steals the just's umbrella. -- Lord Bowen