Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday August 30, 2019

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

A lad of the brainier kind Had erogenous zones in his mind...
A lad of the brainier kind Had erogenous zones in his mind. He got his sensations, By solving equations, (Of course, in the end, he went blind.)

A milkmaid there was, with a stutter, Who was lonely and wanted...
A milkmaid there was, with a stutter, Who was lonely and wanted a futter. She had nowhere to turn, So she diddled a churn, And managed to come with the butter.

There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious...
There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious diameter But it wasn't the size That brought forth the cries 'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.

There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite...
There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite undefiled By thinking of Jesus; Contagious diseases; And the bother of having a child.

There was a young woman named Alice Who peed in a Catholic...
There was a young woman named Alice Who peed in a Catholic chalice. She said, "I do this From a great need to piss, And not from sectarian malice."

I treasure this strange combination found in very few persons:...
I treasure this strange combination found in very few persons: a fierce desire for life as well as a lucid perception of the ultimate futility of the quest. -- Madeleine Gobeil